Selfish?

Hey..
I know its too soon to make a new post again, i just wanna share what-i'm-feeling these days..
Since live at Semarang, being a dorm girl, being a collage student, join some organization at campus, i really know what's life mean more :) i can see a lot of differences characteristic of people around me. And the most important thing is i can manage my own money every month! hhha it's a good experience, as you know that i'm a woman, i'll be a mother soon, i'll be a good wife, so i have to handle these kind of things hha.
Another thing that i learn since i'm here, it's about Love.. emmm maybe Love lil bit too heavy to describe it. we call it "feeling" feeling that followed by emotional, sentiment, caring, and other.

Now i have a strange feeling that i never have before, i thinkin of someone everyday, just call him "bi". Its like i wanna know his condition, is he fine today or sick, and other. Month ago, he really nice to me, since April, we chatting everyday, and talking about everything, from a ridiculous thing until a politic thing. and on June, he said something that make me speechless yeah, you must be know what he did.. but i haven't a special feeling to him. so i decided to refuse him. and since that month, he always tryin to "move on" from me, he make a promise to me. and i know the consequence if he do his promise.. what kind of the consequences? there's no everyday-chats anymore, there will be no someone who remind you to have breakfast-lunch-dinner, there will be no someone that give all of his concern to you, and there will be no someone who give you 2 cans of bear-brand milk if you're in not a good condition. and now, these week, and today that "risk" is going. I already knew that these kind of thing will happen. And i'm happy that you can keep your promise, and even I always thingkin of you everyday and wishing all of stuff that you ever did to me you will do it again, I'm still have no special feeling to you. I'm not thinking that you should be mine. Or maybe i'm lying to myself? Cause now I miss it, and I miss you..

I know that something running in my heart is should not have done, but it's running. Am I selfish?